Critique my rendering

[Anonymous]

I would like some constructive criticism on this rendering I produced with lightworks. I modelled this scene very quickly just to play around with lightworks (I have nothing better to do in my holiday). Any advice on how to make it better would be appreciated.
I feel like I'm starting to get better using lightworks, although its proving to be a pretty hard lion to tame. Perhaps when I get a job, I'll be able to buy Dwights book - but until then, all I have is the forum.

[Anonymous]

It's very nice
If i was your customer, it would be more than enough

[Anonymous]

It is nice.
I'd like to say, if you need my opinion:
The Entranc area should be little bit light....in a moment the entrance are is dark area. It can show little bit negative image.

[Anonymous]

Beginner or intermediate this rendering is useful to any client. As a rendering I feel you should first fully explore the project with your OpenGL engine, a slightly different viewpoint might add excitement, try different lens values too. No need to include everything in the image, I feel you are reaching to include the distorted car bumper, lic. plate, etc. The entourage person is not convincing. We have the famous Girl in Red, you have given us the Girl in Black. Pops right out of the image. Great detail, perhaps play with post processing a little in PhotoShop.

[Anonymous]

neil wrote:
I would like some constructive criticism on this rendering I produced with lightworks. I modelled this scene very quickly just to play around with lightworks (I have nothing better to do in my holiday). Any advice on how to make it better would be appreciated.
I feel like I'm starting to get better using lightworks, although its proving to be a pretty hard lion to tame. Perhaps when I get a job, I'll be able to buy Dwights book - but until then, all I have is the forum.

First off, I agree that's it's a pretty decent rendering. A couple of things that are uncomfortable. One is the severe perspective. I would pull the eye point back with a more narrow field of vision to feel more like a standard 52mm camera lens, rather than the "wide angle" feel. The car really draws my attention and it shouldn't. That problem will be somewhat ameliorated by pulling the eye point back.

Is that round disk on the left entry wall a light fixture? If it is, put a lunimaire in there to provide some soft light on the wall and water (?) below. Keep the intensity down so you don't lose the nice shadow at the front door.

I would also suggest pulling some low plants around the corner to the front on the left side. It would soften that left corner a bit.

Maybe one last comment, and that is that the driveway and walkway are pretty strong and is maybe not so complimtary to the house color and grey car (Toyota?). I would go for a more natural finish like an exposed aggregate that has some color variation in it and has a much smaller texture scale.

The grass looks really good, you've got a good image map there.

We've used Lightworks in FormZ quite a bit and we really like it for exterior views. A lot of time we copy the sun and rotate the copy about 80 to 90 degrees from the primary sun, then turn the shadow casting off and reduce the intensity to create the feel of reflected light.

[Anonymous]

Thanks to everyone for your comments and great advice. My skills in producing decent renderings will benefit a lot from sharing this image. I'm going to make another version with everyones advice considered and I will post the results later.

Burginger wrote:
perhaps play with post processing a little in PhotoShop.

Is there anything you had in mind that would make this rendering better? I am competent using photoshop, although I didn't do anything to this image as I felt there was not much of a need for 'post processing' in this case. Perhaps there is though?

Josephus wrote:
A couple of things that are uncomfortable. One is the severe perspective. I would pull the eye point back with a more narrow field of vision to feel more like a standard 52mm camera lens, rather than the "wide angle" feel. The car really draws my attention and it shouldn't.

I had a feeling this was the case. It seemed okay without the car, but now it does look pretty bad. I'm going to try again with a better view point and not such a wide angle.

Josephus wrote:
The grass looks really good, you've got a good image map there.

Heres the texture I used. I like it because it's quite large, and it is hardly noticeable where the texture joins. Im not sure of where I downloaded it from.

[Dwight]

Excellent work!

Suggestions:
1: Desaturate 50% in Photoshop
2: Crop for better focus - concurring with the distorted car and repeated foreground plants being a distraction.
3: Mid-level correction to 1.40 for better luminance
(all images have too much blackness) in Photoshop
4: Small amount of diffuse glow added in Photoshop

Note: excellent graduated light on shadowed wall!

Option to make softer shadows: increase sun divergence using the sun object with 10 light sources at 22 degrees divergence.

[Anonymous]

neil wrote:
Mark, is there anything you had in mind that would make this rendering better?

uh... yes - but Dwight said it so much better. bingo!

[lagodue]

Not so much a critique of the rendering - others have covered that - but, what is going on with the roof here? It looks like the shell of the house is some kind of precast concrete box, or drainage structure. I would like to see a section detail of the roof/wall assembly. Right now, the thickness of the roof will not accommodate structural framing, insulation, roofing, flashing, gravel stop, interior finish, etc. etc.

[Dwight]

That's why they call it "virtual building."

We know all about virtual building here in Vancouver where the condos all leak because they are built with full-scale foam board.