Andrew,
Our experience with larger firms who have 3-4 larger projects are "active" at the same time with 3-4 users using each project concurrently on the BIM server is that memory usage often goes over the 4GB limit that a 32-bit BIM server could effectively handle. So yes, the 64-bit server is inevitable in such situations. (You can not install 2 BIM servers on one computer). Also, there had been scenarios in ArchiCAD 13 when a single user could "lock up" the BIM server alone. These bottleneck situations have been removed in ArchiCAD 14, so I think you will probably experience much smoother Teamworking with 14.
It's hard to calculate how much RAM a project will use, as it depends on the size of the project, the number of joined users, and the type of work you do/ sending habits of the users. But you might be able to monitor the server activity in the Activity Monitor.
Gergely Kmethy
VP, Customer Success, Graphisoft