I don't think you can win with this one.
The page numbers are allocated in the Layouts.
Sure you can have multiple layout sets with different arrangements of pages, which seems to be what you are doing.
The content of each drawing will update automatically, but the same page in different layout sets are not linked, so (as you say) if you add delete drawings, they are not reflected in each layout set.
You would have to amend one, delete the same page from all the other sets and then drag copies of the amended one to the other sets.
You can set up multiple publisher sets that can pick and choose layouts from a layout set (they do not have to be clones).
But they will use the page numbering from the layout set.
This would be my preferred choice, and the trade has to realise they only have the information relevant to them.
Or you distribute the entire set to all trades and let them decide what is important for them.
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